How long is left
how much more
can I endure?
Lost in this rain filled city night,
I wander past
the lights of the bars
with the signs and the whores.
No longer can I stomach
the hypocrites and idiots
the clowns all drawn out
into the night for fun.
I search for a forever death
only finding this violent nemesis.
Dawn?
Where did that wide eyed boy die?
There could never be enough blood shed
to regain that long gone day
of childish abandon.
Forget me, mom, for the pain
I've inflicted.
Your son has been fully devoured
by this demonic walking carcass.
Oh daddy, your love was so
conveniently absent
nurturing such a small monster,
growing self loathing
like a strangling second tongue.
Count my curses
for they are the only source
I have to measure self worth.
Cowardice is the determination,
minus the will.
A marked soul,
and lack of restraint
leads to disgraceful deeds.
With a spiteful laugh
I spit at the world
through the eyes of this
drunken street punk.
There were actions leading
up to this moment.
Only actions can end it!
A handful of hair lifts my narrowed gaze
I grin up at my victim.
I've done everything
to deserve this wrath.
An uncharacteristic nobility
could finally release me
from my sentence of depraved deviancy.
Another battering of knuckles
smashes through raindrops
to find my lips.
Open mouthed bloody kisses
greet this next round of abuse.
A white shining light slices
through every open realm of reality.
I recline back onto my curby pillow
wishing for sleep,
fighting back the rage
just long enough to incite it.
I decidedly roll over onto
my four dog legs to breath.
A foolish boot is caught against my ribs
I rise,
with it,
into the air
and start my maniacal stomping.
The rain ensures
my mother and father's blood flows
along with this stranger's
into the sewers of this polluted city.
Nothing can ever be as it was,
the realization of salvation,
undeserving of my attention.
I gather my wits,
and stroll to the opposite
side of the street
to resume my interrupted search.
By: Pancho Madness
Pancho, this poem is difficult to read because the pain is palpable. Anger & pain - one of the same. It's more than gritty and it's very sad. You must have had to reach deep inside your soul to write this one - or - was it on the surface?
ReplyDeleteAh Pancho, this is sweet in a melancholy suffering kind of way. It reminds me of a time or two in my life as Im sure its pulled from a time in yours. And it depicts these such times and moods with extreme accuracy. Beautiful man.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad and yet I know we all have these thoughts in our dark place in our minds. Loved it but made mw feel a bit lost at the same time.
ReplyDelete'bloody kisses' those two words brought such a vivid image into mind. as did the story in this poem altogether...very bold, dark, and real.
ReplyDelete